Back in the Saddle

Today is Day Two of me making a conscious effort to improve my health. I think what I'm learning from years of dieting and yo-yoing is that there has to be a constant concerted effort. Our baselines are usually the way we were raised. Unless we make a concerted effort to do something different. I don't know why this is so much harder than other things in my life that I have done I have been able to change many of the expected trajectories in my life. From finishing college with a baby to going on to law school and changing personal decisions such as partying and imbibing... I have changed things, but when it comes to food, in the words of Tyrese, "Everytime I leave, something keeps holding me back, me back." It's not that I love food, or that I'm a foodie. I'm actually pretty picky when it comes to food. But I love the comfort that food brings. It has been my friend and confidant for a long time. I was a latchkey kid and food was my comfort from loneliness. I suffered from feelings of abandonment after my parent's divorce and food filled the void that my father left. But even though I have loved food for so long, I know the kind of food that I love does not love me back. As a matter of fact, it is a self-destructive kind of love. Like domestic violence, the ads and commercials for pizza are mesmerizing, just like the presents that the violent spouse buys to woo you. But then, after the meal ends, and the bad feelings start to set in, we realize that we fell, once again for the okey doke. And now we are further from our goals and closer to our demise.

That's deep. How do we develop a healthy relationship with food? If you know, please comment below. I know that when I eat "healthy" I don't have the endorphins or feelings of content that I have with carbs and processed food. I read "Fast Food Nation" https://www.amazon.com/Fast-Food-Nation-Dark-All-American/dp/0547750331 so I know that the almighty dollar was of major concern when food was developed in America, it was not our welfare. How do we overcome that?

Let me pat myself on the back: I have come a long way. I used to eat fast food at least 3-5 days out of the week and there are times in my life that I know I ate fast food 5-7 days of the week. I used to drink pop everyday and paid no attention to my weight or my health. I've had times in my life where I went months without vegetables and days drinking everything but water. It is a miracle that I am as "healthy" as I am but my body has taken a beating. There is a concept called "weathering" https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1470581/ and this concept refers to the wearing that occurs overtime with severe and acute stress. It shows up in the form of sickness and mental health issues and it is related to the topic I brought up yesterday: ACE scores (Adverse Childhood Experiences) https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childabuseandneglect/acestudy/index.html.

Chronic abuse and stress will have an impact on your physical health and one of the most common phantom diseases of people with chronic stress is something I live with: Fibromyalgia. There is a lot that is not known about Fibromyalgia but it is defined as the prevalence of widespread pain with an unknown origin. It's like your pain receptors just turn up one day and don't ever turn down. It can sometimes hurt to hug or to move, to exercise can be excruciating, but many people keep moving through the pain. They get up everyday and push through the pain to work, love and take care of their family. All of you living with Fibromyalgia- I see you and I salute you. This illness is real although no one can see it, and it may have it's roots in physical or emotional abuse or car accidents or other kinds of trauma. If you have Fibromyalgia and have experienced any of those things, please comment below. We need to band together, especially at a time like this where our stress is high and likely to be a trigger.

One of my triggers for Fibromyalgia is high sugar, high carb diet. I can only go off the grid with my eating for so long before I feel that familiar stiffness in the morning, followed by all day back and arm pain. Next I will struggle to walk up and down the steps without pain in my knees and hip. Then the fatigue hits. I have found that doing the Lemonade Fast or Master Cleanse https://themastercleanse.org/ over the years has kept my Fibromyalgia in check when I do it at the first sign of pain. I have been blessed to find a diet that works for me (low carb, low sugar) and fasts are the best when it comes to abating my pain quickly.

One of the worst things we can do is to give up on ourselves and our health. There is always something we can do. Queen Afua https://queenafua.com/ and JJ Smith https://www.jjsmithonline.com/ both talk about praying and finding cures for their illness through all natural food. It also happened to Stanley Burroughs who created the Lemonade Diet. The cure for what you are living with can be found. We cannot give in to emotional eating and forget that the bible says, "Physician, Heal Thyself." There are so many people springing up with gifts to help us get through from herbalist, to Jewelers and those who make scrubs and soaps. I'll post a few of my favorites.

So Day 2- it was much easier to get up and exercise. It was much easier to choose healthy foods. I feel like I'm on my way, but I know enough to know I have to plan and be diligent. Looking forward to what Day 3 brings.!