Day 4 of The Master Cleanse Musings

Days 2 and 3 of The Master Cleanse were difficult. Extremely difficult. I ate a handful (okay several handfuls) of pretzels on Day 2. I obsessed over food and even imagined eating any food I could possibly eat on Day 3. That day is always the hardest and I took comfort in knowing that if I could get through that day, I could get to 10 or 14 days. I have a work luncheon today and I need to plan how I will handle it. People feel some kind of way if you go out to eat with them and don’t eat. My husband is also fstow since I’m fasting. He says the mood swings are a lot to deal with. I told him imagine if I was quitting nicotine, caffeine, heroin or cocaine. That’s how powerful sugars and carbs are to your system. But I feel clearer, and my fibromyalgia pain is almost gone in just 3 days. This cleanse never ceases to amaze me. 

One thing that has been difficult than all my previous cleanses is that I only lost a total of 3 pounds on the cleanse so far. Usually you lose that much or more in water weight the first day.  But I am reminded to focus on the non-scale reasons I am doing this. I’m tempted to get rid of the scale altogether but the one time I did that I ended up wayyyyy to heavy. 

My Aunt Traci was diagnosed with diabetes in her 30s. She called me and said- eat how I have to eat now, so you never get sick and have to eat like this. It stuck in my mind. The fact that I can choose to eat healthy, choose to fast, choose to cleanse and that I don’t have to based on a diagnosis, is empowering. 

Today, I choose me. And although this cleanse is tough (my family made homemade Popeye’s chicken sandwiches Day 2), I know the benefits far outweigh the struggle I am going through right now. I want to be free of the pull that unhealthy foods have on me. I want to finally get through this decades long struggle with obesity. I want my 40s to be the healthiest decade of my life. And what I do today, will decide if that manifests for me or not. 

What have you decided will be true for you this decade? What are you doing today to make sure that manifests itself in your life?

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New Year, Same Nique

Year in and year out the same issues weight prevail. In one sense I am glad that I’m getting another opportunity to get things right. On the other hand, it seems a daunting task to finally get and keep the weight off and I wonder if this year will be any different. One thing is for sure, the weight needs to go- the excess weight and along with it the excuses and limitations that come with being overweight. 

Nothing happens by accident or happenstance so I know that it was meant for me to find a small folder with weight loss related papers, some of them turning brown from age. One undated document really stuck out and I’m imagining from the dates of the other documents that it must have been written in the early 2000s:

Why are you currently overweight: I am overweight because I was raised that food was a panacea. Whenever there was drama at home (and there was a lot of drama) there was always something to eat to make it feel better. I was offered ice cream after I scraped my knee, McDonald’s after a hard  day, Pizza if I got good grades. So I learned that food was attached to feelings, that there was an emotional component to eating. How I’m thinking of it now after reading Dr. Ian Smith’s 4 Day Diet is that food is fuel- there’s nothing emotional about putting gas in a car! Eating can be just eating. 

Why have previous weight-loss efforts failed?

Previous weight loss efforts have failed because I want fast weight loss. It is hard to work hard for anything in this society. Me being a part of Generation X, which is also known as the microwave generation, is like if I can’t have it at the snap of my finger, I’m just going to keep it moving. I see this in my relationships and my finances and my weight. I have not learned the patience to stick with something even it doesn’t seem to be giving me the desired results. One example is that I started dieting and exercising in January. By the time I got to April, I was still the same weight, so I partially gave up. What my nutritionist showed me this Monday is that my sugar levels went from 102 to 84 and my cholesterol improved as well, so although I may not have seen the results of my work on the scale, my overall health was improving. If I had stuck with it, weight loss may have come eventually. 

How does your weight influence your self-esteem/self-image?

Well, now that I’m single again I definitely think about what Tyrese will think of my body when he meets me. Seriously, I know I’m an attractive woman, but with those chiseled abs and biceps what will he think about my grandma arms? Maybe he will want a woman who works just as hard at keeping in shape as he does. He said something in an article in Men’s Health (not that I’m stalking him or anything)- he said “...when you are in shape, you don’t have to tell people that you love yourself.” That’s powerful. And how can you love anyone when you don’t love yourself?  And how can you expect someone to love you more than you love yourself? So, that’s where I am with the self-esteem thing, I love being plus-sized, but the dents, dimples and flab have got to go!

What are your weaknesses related to sticking to a weight-loss program?

Please see microwave generation answer above. Planning out meals in advance and not getting caught in the fast food drive thru line is my main goal. If I can plan out the meals and have the food at home and get home in time to cook before I get hungry, I’m cool. But if not, everything is out the window and I’m scrounging for food “just today” not seeing that it’s a pattern and a habit. My days have got to be more structured so I can eat natural, live food made by my hands. 

Without weighing yourself or looking at a BMI chart how many pounds away do you think you are from your target weight? 40 pounds

It’s crazy because most of these things are still applicable today in 2020. I have the same tools that I have used before to successfully lose weight but there is more work I have to do mentally and emotionally so that this time when I lose the weight, I can keep it off. I started today 245 pounds. My goal is 200. I am starting today on the Master Cleanse. I feel clearheaded and super productive today as I am also doing a social media fast. This morning I started struggling to get up, with achy joints, back pain and swollen and numb hands and feet. This cleanse will bring back the vitality and strength that I know is within me while helping me deal with the food addiction I believe I have. 

Let me know if any of this resonates with you...