Day 4 of The Master Cleanse Musings

Days 2 and 3 of The Master Cleanse were difficult. Extremely difficult. I ate a handful (okay several handfuls) of pretzels on Day 2. I obsessed over food and even imagined eating any food I could possibly eat on Day 3. That day is always the hardest and I took comfort in knowing that if I could get through that day, I could get to 10 or 14 days. I have a work luncheon today and I need to plan how I will handle it. People feel some kind of way if you go out to eat with them and don’t eat. My husband is also fstow since I’m fasting. He says the mood swings are a lot to deal with. I told him imagine if I was quitting nicotine, caffeine, heroin or cocaine. That’s how powerful sugars and carbs are to your system. But I feel clearer, and my fibromyalgia pain is almost gone in just 3 days. This cleanse never ceases to amaze me. 

One thing that has been difficult than all my previous cleanses is that I only lost a total of 3 pounds on the cleanse so far. Usually you lose that much or more in water weight the first day.  But I am reminded to focus on the non-scale reasons I am doing this. I’m tempted to get rid of the scale altogether but the one time I did that I ended up wayyyyy to heavy. 

My Aunt Traci was diagnosed with diabetes in her 30s. She called me and said- eat how I have to eat now, so you never get sick and have to eat like this. It stuck in my mind. The fact that I can choose to eat healthy, choose to fast, choose to cleanse and that I don’t have to based on a diagnosis, is empowering. 

Today, I choose me. And although this cleanse is tough (my family made homemade Popeye’s chicken sandwiches Day 2), I know the benefits far outweigh the struggle I am going through right now. I want to be free of the pull that unhealthy foods have on me. I want to finally get through this decades long struggle with obesity. I want my 40s to be the healthiest decade of my life. And what I do today, will decide if that manifests for me or not. 

What have you decided will be true for you this decade? What are you doing today to make sure that manifests itself in your life?

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New Year, Same Nique

Year in and year out the same issues weight prevail. In one sense I am glad that I’m getting another opportunity to get things right. On the other hand, it seems a daunting task to finally get and keep the weight off and I wonder if this year will be any different. One thing is for sure, the weight needs to go- the excess weight and along with it the excuses and limitations that come with being overweight. 

Nothing happens by accident or happenstance so I know that it was meant for me to find a small folder with weight loss related papers, some of them turning brown from age. One undated document really stuck out and I’m imagining from the dates of the other documents that it must have been written in the early 2000s:

Why are you currently overweight: I am overweight because I was raised that food was a panacea. Whenever there was drama at home (and there was a lot of drama) there was always something to eat to make it feel better. I was offered ice cream after I scraped my knee, McDonald’s after a hard  day, Pizza if I got good grades. So I learned that food was attached to feelings, that there was an emotional component to eating. How I’m thinking of it now after reading Dr. Ian Smith’s 4 Day Diet is that food is fuel- there’s nothing emotional about putting gas in a car! Eating can be just eating. 

Why have previous weight-loss efforts failed?

Previous weight loss efforts have failed because I want fast weight loss. It is hard to work hard for anything in this society. Me being a part of Generation X, which is also known as the microwave generation, is like if I can’t have it at the snap of my finger, I’m just going to keep it moving. I see this in my relationships and my finances and my weight. I have not learned the patience to stick with something even it doesn’t seem to be giving me the desired results. One example is that I started dieting and exercising in January. By the time I got to April, I was still the same weight, so I partially gave up. What my nutritionist showed me this Monday is that my sugar levels went from 102 to 84 and my cholesterol improved as well, so although I may not have seen the results of my work on the scale, my overall health was improving. If I had stuck with it, weight loss may have come eventually. 

How does your weight influence your self-esteem/self-image?

Well, now that I’m single again I definitely think about what Tyrese will think of my body when he meets me. Seriously, I know I’m an attractive woman, but with those chiseled abs and biceps what will he think about my grandma arms? Maybe he will want a woman who works just as hard at keeping in shape as he does. He said something in an article in Men’s Health (not that I’m stalking him or anything)- he said “...when you are in shape, you don’t have to tell people that you love yourself.” That’s powerful. And how can you love anyone when you don’t love yourself?  And how can you expect someone to love you more than you love yourself? So, that’s where I am with the self-esteem thing, I love being plus-sized, but the dents, dimples and flab have got to go!

What are your weaknesses related to sticking to a weight-loss program?

Please see microwave generation answer above. Planning out meals in advance and not getting caught in the fast food drive thru line is my main goal. If I can plan out the meals and have the food at home and get home in time to cook before I get hungry, I’m cool. But if not, everything is out the window and I’m scrounging for food “just today” not seeing that it’s a pattern and a habit. My days have got to be more structured so I can eat natural, live food made by my hands. 

Without weighing yourself or looking at a BMI chart how many pounds away do you think you are from your target weight? 40 pounds

It’s crazy because most of these things are still applicable today in 2020. I have the same tools that I have used before to successfully lose weight but there is more work I have to do mentally and emotionally so that this time when I lose the weight, I can keep it off. I started today 245 pounds. My goal is 200. I am starting today on the Master Cleanse. I feel clearheaded and super productive today as I am also doing a social media fast. This morning I started struggling to get up, with achy joints, back pain and swollen and numb hands and feet. This cleanse will bring back the vitality and strength that I know is within me while helping me deal with the food addiction I believe I have. 

Let me know if any of this resonates with you... 

Fibromyalgia

This post is dedicated to all of you living with the diagnosis of fibromyalgia. It was 2009 and I found myself in bed with massive mucus drainage, body pain and eventually I couldn’t get out of bed. I was scared so I went to the ER (I was so sick I don’t even remember how I got to the hospital). All I remember is that it was 9-11, and the TV in the ER room was full of tributes to the survivors and victims of the tragic incident. At some point Dr’s find a mass in my chest and warn me that it looks like lymphoma and that I should start to make plans for my 5 children because I wouldn’t live much longer. I called my best friend, Dannette and asked her if she would take my kids and raise them. She said of course. She and her husband discussed building a room on her house to accomodate the kids. The Twins were 3 and my oldest was 13. It was a rough 10 days. My cousin Kahlil had come to visit me, I had talked to him about our future and how he could become a lawyer and practice together. I had an eerie feeling during our time together, that maybe I wasn’t going to live much longer. Little did I know he would leave me just a month and a half later...

The Dr’s ran several tests which were inconclusive. My blood cell count was off, blood pressure was off the chart, so the last test was a Pet Scan to test for the cancer in my body. Shortly before going to the test I got a visit from Jan Roberts from my church. I remember thinking or saying- I’ve been through enough. There is no cancer. She looked so worried, but by this point I was getting back to my jovial self. I was wheeled down to the basement to do the test. I found out later that this test costs about $20,000 and for many middle class Americans it would not have been an option. I was a full-time graduate student on Medicaid at the time so I was given the test that would determine my fate. Where they expected the image to light up to show cancer, nothing lit up, not even the tumor in my chest. There was no cancer. So that led to my discharge with no diagnosis.

Several months later, still experiencing widespread pain, I saw a rheumatologist who finally diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. I’d been having these pain flare ups since I had 2 car accidents back-to-back in 2003. I even suggested to my Dr at the time that maybe I had Fibromyalgia but he told me I was too young. My flare ups never lasted more than a few days and were often triggered by intense physical activity so I thought it was normal sore muscles.

Life with Fibromyalgia is no joke. I read several books on inflammation and decided to tackle my symptoms through dietand exercise. Anytime I eat poorly, I experienced exacerbation in my symptoms. I think lower carbs and sugar or do a Master Cleanse fast and I experience a remission of my symptoms. Stress also can make symptoms manifest.

So right now I’m experiencing symptoms of Fibromyalgia. I had a stressful few months at work and my kids are always on my mind. Mindfulness, yoga, writing and reading along with lazy keto are all tools that I plan to keep the pain and aches in check this year. Fibromyalgia can rob you of time, experience and precious memories that you miss out on home in the bed or the couch. Not this year!

If you have Fibromyalgia please share how you cope and what your triggers are. If you don’t know your triggers, keep a Fibro journal of what you eat/do and then what level your pain is each day. Let’s keeo each other uplifted!

Day One

Today is the first day of the rest of your life! Weight continues to be an issue and I’m trying to look at this for shat it is: a food addiction l. More specifically a carbs and sugar addiction. When I eat a diet low in carbs and sugar I’m not swollen when I wake up in the morning, I have more energy and less body aches and joint pain. But forsaking the foods I love is just a struggle and holidays are the ultimate trigger. So after Thanksgiving I lost 16 pounds and over Christmas I gained half of that back. I have to get a handle on the maintenance plan that will ensure that once I take the weight off I will keep it off.

Today I start a combination of Keto and HCG drops. My food choices today will consist of 2 sources of protein, 2 vegetables and 2 fruits.

The other thing that is a must is drinking water. Today I must drink 64 plus ounces of water. This is a marathon, not a sprint so I’ll keep you posted with pics, weight loss updates, tools and motivation. We can and we will do this!!!

Starting from Scratch

I don't like to lose, but when it comes to weight loss, most of us who lose weight will gain it back. The thing most feared has come upon me. I have gained back all the weight I lost in 2015/16. I could use my unplanned pregnancy/miscarriage and back injury as an excuse but the truth is I stopped doing what I did to lose the weight. I got sloppy with my food choices and portion sizes and went months without exercising so here I am. I've attempted to lose weight doing the 10 Day Smoothie Cleanse and HCG drops and even a modified Master Cleanse but nothing has worked. I still weigh the same amount as I did at the beginning of the year. So I'm doing a full Master Cleanse from now until my birthday. I figure, if I'm seriously considering weight loss surgery, I will have to go on a full liquid diet before and after the surgery so why not do it now and avoid the surgery? June from Honey Boo Boo (what a reference!) just had Gastric Bypass and she was on liquids for TWELVE WEEKS after the surgery! 12 weeks is a long time. I'm talking about 20 days. And my goal is to work out 3 times a week for 30 minutes. I know I can do it because I've done it before. I'm blogging to hold myself accountable and to be transparent. 

Day 3 and 4

Day 3 was uneventful! It was so good to be without a headache all day! I hurt my knee some kind of way so I tried to take it easy all day after work. Today is Day 4 and the first think I noticed when I woke up- the Fibromyalgia pain is gone!!! What a relief! I feel so much better in my skin! Now to see this thing through to the end! I have been eating a sensible meal for dinner because of my headache. So I need to decide if I will continue that or if I will do the full Master Cleanse. Right now I'm hydrated and listening to my body! 

Day 2

Day 2 was rough... Goid news is I'm down 4 pounds. Yesterday evening I was bloated and I felt like a bag of ricks. I urinated constantly through the night and woke up 4 pounds lighter. I also woke up with a headache. This headache lasted all day long. So what was supposed to be a productive day ended up with me just being loving and kind to myself through the pain.