Somethings been holding me back. I write about it alot and think about it even more. The root is fear. This I am very clear about. However it has morphed into one very visible issue in my life, my weight. Mine is the classic life long battle with weight. I was born almost ten pounds, and my mother swears the doctor put me on my first diet by the time I was three months old. I wore a gurdle everyday from fifth grade until the end of high school. My weight never stopped me from achieving my goals or from "getting the guy" but my inability to control my weight filled the pages of my diary. At night when I dream I am size nine, I move effortlessly. I don't have to check and make sure my shirt is pulled down over my jeans. I wouldn't have to shop in specialty shops where clothes are made for "less urban" women. Most importantly I'd be healthy, free from the threats of diabetes, high blood pressure, and the other myriad of health concerns that play obese, specifically black women. As appealing as my fly new J-Hud body may be the most signifigant benefit to my lossing weight will be my improved quality of life and legacy of health for my six children. I breastfed all six of them in an attempt to lessen their chances of being obese. From a young age they were active in dance and sports. However my sedentary lifestyle and knack for fast food has had an impact. So my imputis is not just for me but for my children and my children's children and down the line.
I must be honest to admit that I weigh 259 pounds is humbling. But admission and honesty are the first steps to changing in this situation. I am happy, my life is very rewarding and fulfilling. But I want more. I want to experience my best life, to borrow Oprah's phrase. I have so many friends and family members that have climbed this mountain and lost weight for life. I just want to join them. I am inspired mostly by Jennifer Hudson's public weight loss, Yolanda Sabio, Terrel Robbinson, Ruth Carter, Marci Wasserstrom, Terree Stevenson, Nakea Hughes, Shawntay Beckford, Ashley Koff, and countless others who battle a past of obesity and make better choices daily. I am forming a plan and I am committed to doing SOMETHING daily. Feel free to comment, join me, or just pray for my strength. Ashe.
