Difficult couple of days...So...things were going so well last time I posted. I have had an incredible amount energy, and I have completed tasks that have been on my to-do list for months. However, being Vegan has proved to be much more challenging than being Vegetarian. For one thing, I don't really like vegetables. For another thing, I don't like trying new things. Those are two bad things when trying to adopt a healthy lifestyle. And then cheese is everywhere! I did so well yesterday during the daytime. I juiced grapes, apples and an orange for breakfast, had a protein shake that my husband made- with milk. That's when things got slippery. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. He was being so helpful and supportive by making me the protein shake. But he also bought me a vegetarian sub from Jimmy Johns. It was the bomb! But it had cheese on it...So I don't know if the cheese and milk reawakened my old cravings, or if the fact that I was working too hard to plan dinner did it, but I found myself texting my 15 year old around 7:30pm "Order something for dinner." She said, "What do you want?" I said, "Nothing." I was confused about whether I wanted to eat or not. I was so tired, and the bread from the sub was really filling. But I knew in the back of my mind, I was setting up to uhm fail, so to speak. This is what KKT (my BFF?) was worried about. That in my zeal and quest to be thin, I'd end up depriving myself and bingeing in response. It happens to so many of us with good intentions. It's why we wake up Monday morning on a diet and order pizza or chinese by dinner, or if we make it through that day, we are in Bob Evans the next morning. It's actually how we're hardwired (I'm reading a lot about this). And it's also why we lose weight and gain it back and then some after getting off a diet. What I'm doing is not a diet. It's changing the way I think about eating and food. It started years ago, and I did a lot of good work last year that led to me losing 26 pounds. I was just hoping to jump start my metabolism and weight loss with the fruit/juice fast and I was using the 7 day Vegan thing to see how ready for the juice fast I was...
So now I'm thinking, and reading and blogging. I'm trying to figure out, as Uneeka says, "What's right for me." I know in my gut that I need to do something drastic, that left to my own devices, I will end up like my mother. And the image of my mother giving herself an injection of insulin daily is my motivation.
Today was a lot better. I'm not beating myself up over last night. After all I just polished off my daughter's manicotti and garlic bread (at least it wasn't pizza, lol). I feel like I'm in this for so many people and I want us to be healthy and happy. Signed, Trying to find my way
Showing posts with label vegan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vegan. Show all posts
Friday, January 6, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Good Choices
Day One- Vegan
Today I made good choices. I woke up this morning with "workout" on my mind. I know if I do a workout, I will feel accomplished and it will be easier to make better choices throughout the day. I laid in the bed and visualized myself doing planks, push ups and sit ups. I woke up, took the older girls to the bus stop, and while the baby slept, I did those planks, push ups and sit ups (8). Then when my 10 year old son woke up, I did yoga with him. That was so much fun, relaxing and invigorating at the same time. Then I journaled, read the Bible and measured myself. It's imperative that you know your numbers when you set out to gain control of your eating and weight.
My numbers? This morning I weighed 245.0, (down from my high in April 2011 of 266) my blood pressure is 126/84. My waist measurement is 41.
Since posting my plans to do a 40 day juice fast, I've heard from a lot of people who feel that my juice fast is too extreme. When I went to Chipotle this afternoon with my husband and daughters, he was shocked when I ordered romaine lettuce, plain. He told me this evening he thinks I'm going too extreme with my diet. I don't plan on depriving myself. I just feel like I have the rest of my life to eat what I want. But right now, in this moment, I want to lose weight. I want my outside to match my inside.
Today, going vegan, (with no sugar) I had more energy and more excitement than I have had in a while. I am taking all the comments in consideration. I may do a modification of the 40 day juice fast. I think there is something to be said for the clarity gained during a fast. And I am not expecting this fast to be the end all be all (well yes I am). But the movie, "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" really resonated with me. I don't want to be on medication. I want to allow my body to heal itself from the inside.
reading this book: Transformation by Bill Phillips and I will be exploring the questions that he poses. This book is about not just losing weight but dealing with the issues that caused you to put on the weight in the first place. I've been dealing with all those issues for the past year. I love myself and where I have come from. I love the person that I have become. And honestly, I have loved my fat. I have to grieve what it stood for- the protection I thought it offered and the comfort. It is difficult to let this fat go. But it must go. I love what my friend Uneeka said #skinnygirlinside. I don't think there is a skinny girl inside, but there is a healthy girl inside who doesn't need food to be her friend...
Today I made good choices. I woke up this morning with "workout" on my mind. I know if I do a workout, I will feel accomplished and it will be easier to make better choices throughout the day. I laid in the bed and visualized myself doing planks, push ups and sit ups. I woke up, took the older girls to the bus stop, and while the baby slept, I did those planks, push ups and sit ups (8). Then when my 10 year old son woke up, I did yoga with him. That was so much fun, relaxing and invigorating at the same time. Then I journaled, read the Bible and measured myself. It's imperative that you know your numbers when you set out to gain control of your eating and weight.
My numbers? This morning I weighed 245.0, (down from my high in April 2011 of 266) my blood pressure is 126/84. My waist measurement is 41.
Since posting my plans to do a 40 day juice fast, I've heard from a lot of people who feel that my juice fast is too extreme. When I went to Chipotle this afternoon with my husband and daughters, he was shocked when I ordered romaine lettuce, plain. He told me this evening he thinks I'm going too extreme with my diet. I don't plan on depriving myself. I just feel like I have the rest of my life to eat what I want. But right now, in this moment, I want to lose weight. I want my outside to match my inside.
Today, going vegan, (with no sugar) I had more energy and more excitement than I have had in a while. I am taking all the comments in consideration. I may do a modification of the 40 day juice fast. I think there is something to be said for the clarity gained during a fast. And I am not expecting this fast to be the end all be all (well yes I am). But the movie, "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" really resonated with me. I don't want to be on medication. I want to allow my body to heal itself from the inside.
reading this book: Transformation by Bill Phillips and I will be exploring the questions that he poses. This book is about not just losing weight but dealing with the issues that caused you to put on the weight in the first place. I've been dealing with all those issues for the past year. I love myself and where I have come from. I love the person that I have become. And honestly, I have loved my fat. I have to grieve what it stood for- the protection I thought it offered and the comfort. It is difficult to let this fat go. But it must go. I love what my friend Uneeka said #skinnygirlinside. I don't think there is a skinny girl inside, but there is a healthy girl inside who doesn't need food to be her friend...
Monday, January 2, 2012
New Year, New Me (again)
Imagine that I started this blog and I don't even remember starting it! I came up with the great idea in 2012 to chronicle my weight loss and apparently I have already had that bright idea, last year. OMG.
Anyway, I did lose 20 pounds last year, now I want to continue the weight loss and get to my goal weight. I have a lot going on right now. It is clear to me that there is a connection between my weight and unresolved feelings of being unworthy and abandoned. Until I can deal with the underlying issues, I know that any weight loss I experience will be termporary.
My main reason for losing weight is to experience a better quality of life, while avoiding the health problems that plague my mother, who has high blood pressure, diabetes, diverticulitis and sleep apnea. All of which are causes of sickness and death. I also want to stop the cycle so that my children will be healthy and have abundant life.
For the next Seven Days, I will be eating Vegan in order to prepare myself for a 40 day juice fast starting 1/11/12. I am excited and a little trepidatious about the transformation that is about to take place. My support will come from my husband, who already does much of which I aspire to do, and my two oldest daughters who also need to lose weight and get healthy. Today I juiced for the first time on my new juicer that my husband bought me. It was an awesome experience. My 40 day juice fast was inspired by the documentary "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead." I'm also reading the book "Transformation." Join me on this journey as I take pictures of myself daily and post them. I will also post my weight and measurements weekly.
Anyway, I did lose 20 pounds last year, now I want to continue the weight loss and get to my goal weight. I have a lot going on right now. It is clear to me that there is a connection between my weight and unresolved feelings of being unworthy and abandoned. Until I can deal with the underlying issues, I know that any weight loss I experience will be termporary.
My main reason for losing weight is to experience a better quality of life, while avoiding the health problems that plague my mother, who has high blood pressure, diabetes, diverticulitis and sleep apnea. All of which are causes of sickness and death. I also want to stop the cycle so that my children will be healthy and have abundant life.
For the next Seven Days, I will be eating Vegan in order to prepare myself for a 40 day juice fast starting 1/11/12. I am excited and a little trepidatious about the transformation that is about to take place. My support will come from my husband, who already does much of which I aspire to do, and my two oldest daughters who also need to lose weight and get healthy. Today I juiced for the first time on my new juicer that my husband bought me. It was an awesome experience. My 40 day juice fast was inspired by the documentary "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead." I'm also reading the book "Transformation." Join me on this journey as I take pictures of myself daily and post them. I will also post my weight and measurements weekly.
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